straight up

I have to stop signing job offers if I don’t intend to actually get the job. At the rate I am going, I will be blacklisted from these companies and will probably regret it when and if the time comes that I am serious about working for them.

Anyway… I think I will be working for my previous company and I think work will start on Monday. I’m just not so sure yet and I’m still looking around.

In an effort to get my ass off my warm bed, M forced me to go with her yesterday. She is not the kind of person you reason with, because believe me, it is futile. So I went with her. Strange thing is that she gives really good relationship advice. Strange because she doesn’t come across as someone well versed in matters of the (broken) heart. And she always starts with … “ if you ask me” or “if you want my opinion…” which I find really amusing because with her, you really don’t have a choice. :)

We were supposed to get our social security ID’s but the capture machine wasn’t working… so we went to the mall and waited for her scheduled interview. I didn’t plan on applying at that company yet. But, I didn’t feel like going home so I gave my resume… and well… how do you answer the question, “what assurance do we have that this time, you’re not wasting our time again?” when you know that you are wasting their time, again? Hmmm…

My last shred of hope to keep tascha fell apart last night. I will miss her. She truly is my baby. Over the course of two weeks, I’m afraid that much like me, she has also learned to silently cry herself to sleep.

Well, right now, my only concern is if I should drink this chilled strawberry wine straight from the bottle or if I should get out of bed to get that giant goblet.

now, that channing tatum? one.hot.dude.

All things considered, I have an extended/special/deluxe now playing edition:

there is no if : the cure
"if you die" you said "so do i" you said...
And it starts the day you make the sign
"tell me I'm forever yours and you're forever mine
Forever mine... "

Remember the last time I told you I love you -
It was warm and safe in our perfect world –

"if you die" you said "so do i" you said
But it ends the day you understand
There is no if... just and
There is no if... just and
There is no if..."

going to california : led zeppelin
“I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I’ll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.”

it doesn’t have to be that way : jim croce
“And the Christmas carols sound like blues,
But the choir is not to blame.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
What we had should never have ended.”

stop crying your heart out : oasis
“Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone”

two star : everything but the girl
“So it's not for me to say,
because I change my mind from day to day,
and when I look at you
I only see bits of myself anyway.
So go on, and stop listening to me.
Stop lisening to me.
And don't ask me what to say,
or to judge a life this way
when my own's in disarray.”

every grain of sand : bob dylan
“I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea
Sometimes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me.
I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand.”


flowers in december : mazzy star
"Before I let you down again
I just want to see you in your eyes
I would have taken everything out on you
I only thought you could understand

They say everyman goes blind in his heart
And they say everybody steals somebody's heart away
And I got nothing more to say about it
Nothing more than you would me

Send me your flowers, of your december
Send me your dreams, of your candy wine
I got just one thing I cant give you
Just one more thing of mine

They say everyman goes blind in his heart
They say everybody steals somebodys heart away
And Ive been wondering why you let me down
And I been taking it all for granted."

oh, fuck.