Friday, December 26, 2008

the deepest blues

I wonder what the hell sucked the joy out of Christmas.

Christmas passed 13 minutes ago and I still haven’t done my Christmas shopping. It’s weird, really. The holiday season used to be the highlight of my year. I looked forward to shopping for gifts and wrapping them and stacking them under my nice little tree. This year, I tried to several times to go to the mall to shop for gifts. But when I get there, there’s always a reason to go home and postpone the whole thing. Things that never seemed to stop me all those Christmases ago… what happened? I just lost interest, I guess. It just stopped being fun and became more of a duty than anything else. And honestly, how can you even go about spending your hard earned money as a chore? This whole thing used to be so much fun. I miss those days. Maybe I am just getting old. Or maybe it’s something else.

I think it’s something else.

I have been thinking about leaving ever since I can remember. I wanted to live somewhere else. Last week, I was given the opportunity to do so. All I had to do was decide. And I couldn’t. I said I wanted to think about it more. Which is weird, coz I’ve always wanted to leave. And I knew that. Maybe I just got scared. All the comfort I know now will vanish once I leave… and then there’s the fear of the unknown.

My friends all think it’s a good idea to leave. They all agree that sometimes, you have to leave to make way for better things.

I tell myself I can always come back anyway. If things don’t work out, then I can go back home and start again… or maybe I can go to another place and start there. The point is, I can pretty much go and start wherever and whenever I want. I am not bound by any chain. And frankly, I have more reasons to leave than to stay.

I still want to do my research and other preparations I feel I need to do before I sign anything. But I will definitely pursue this. Which is kinda sad, considering how I spent my potentially last Christmas here. I know I’ll look back on this and wish that I spent more time with the people I love and care for… but what’s done is done… I think I still have like at the very least, six months here. I’m going to miss everyone. But…

It’s time.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

backposts,rockstars and shoes

I back posted my second day in Pagudpud (to the moon and back). I have so many pictures of that trip that I want to post but I still haven't gotten around to posting them on a photo hosting site. I will post and back post the links as soon as I fix it.

There are so many things going on right now. work, parties, concerts, shoes... which reminds me, i have to go get my nails done. now.

And did you count many times I typed the word "post" in the last 5 minutes?

Monday, December 1, 2008

an apple a day...

I have been really really sick since I got back home from my trip. I thought it was the flu, but after visiting the doctor yesterday, it turns out to be bronchitis. Crap. I guess that explains why I've been in so much pain the past week. The doctor won't let me go back to work yet. This couldn't have come at a worse time.

Speaking of work... I am looking at another job. I think I'll know on Wednesday. I really hope this turns well.

I haven't posted the continuation of my trip to Ilocos yet, but I will. As soon as I remember where I saved the drafts. haha. I will also post the pictures I took during the trip. I am still not sure which photo hosting site to post them on. I'll post the link here once I get everything together.

For now, I shall lie down and watch cartoons all day.