spot trainer

Know what I like? Surprises. Like when a friend dropped by to say hi at around 10:30 last night coz he just happened to be in the neighborhood. I thought that was sweet.

Well, it turns out that the new fan I bought wasn’t missing a part. The manual was just useless and I didn’t screw the blade right. Ha. All that screaming at the lousy customer service rep for nothing. Tee. Hee.

I’m not sure if I should start putting up ads for possible homes for tascha or if I should wait this out a little bit. And, I just want to be clear on this one… it’s not just the poop cleaning I’m having such a hard time with… it’s me, being scared. That’s the main thing. So, like the overly abused break up line, it’s not you tascha, it’s me. I have to work on my inner demons and you deserve better… and incidentally, this time with tascha, no truer break up lines were ever said.

Should I wait it out, send her to dog boarding school then if it still doesn’t work out then I’ll start looking for new owners? And while she’s at dog school, I’ll mentally prepare for what’s to come? Or… should I start looking for someone who’ll take her while she’s still just three months old… save myself a lot of dough for the dog boarding school, cut off all this emotional trouble, asap?

R went over today to go through my CDs and suggested that maybe I can get someone to help me with tascha and the apartment, full time. I am not sure about this yet. But I’m willing to look further into this option.

Although, right now… I am still convinced that I can’t live with a dog, with or without a full time dog sitter. I simply can’t have one. I haven’t posted an ad for tascha yet. But I am pretty convinced that unless some sort of divine intervention comes along, I am giving her up.

and I know You know, but it wouldn’t hurt to say it… I am kind of waiting.

NP: the sky is broken : moby
"See the storm is broken
In the middle of the night
Nothing left here for me
It's washed away"