blades a-flyin', sinks a sinkin'

I haven’t posted pictures of tascha because my camera is not working and I can’t take a good picture using my phone coz she keeps moving… and my phone camera can’t keep up. Speaking of those who can’t keep up...

I am sooooo tired. Cleaning dog poo sure takes a whole lot of my time. Being scared 24 hours a day sure is tiring. Not to mention nasty to my tummy.

Tascha, now, she is a handful. She is as feisty as I am terrified. But now my fear is twofold. One, I’m still scared of dogs. That includes tascha, although I can now touch and carry her. Two, whenever I’m not home I fear something bad will happen to her. i don’t want to leave her alone in my apartment, but I have no choice sometimes. There are a lot of errands to run and even more work to be done. When I’m not home with her (even if I have someone puppy sitting) I worry.

Whether I’m watching a movie, grocery shopping, or out drinking with my friends, my mind wanders to tascha, hoping she’s happy and safe. and I don’t like this. I don’t like worrying.

The only thing I fear more than a stuffed dog is a dead one. I think I will instantly faint if I ever saw one.

People tell me that it’s just hard now because she’s still a puppy but once she grows up, it wouldn’t be so hard to have her around. Right now, she needs constant care and attention and I don’t even know if I can make it till she’s three months old and ready for Dog Boarding School. (how can seven lousy days go by so so so sloooow???)

It’s been like 3 days since I brought her home, and honestly, it feels like it’s been a month. This is supposed to be my rest and relaxation time. Time to sort the crooked and haywire parts of my life. And waking up at 5am to clean dog poop is not part of that. Well, it wasn’t. now it is. Damn.

There are times when I just want to go online and post an ad for a three month old shih tzu with 21 red marks and 5 green marks on her paper.

It’s almost like I adopted a baby. I know… I know. having a baby is a million times more serious than getting a puppy and I have very little knowledge in infant care but sometimes, I feel like it would have been a bit less stressful for me. Well, first, I’m not scared of babies. I love them and I don’t have a nagging fear whenever they are around. Second, I won’t have to worry too much about leaving the baby, because you can take your baby to malls, restaurants and groceries. And third, at least I won’t have to justify getting a baby sitter as opposed to getting a dog sitter.

See, I am not ready for this. Clearly. I lived a really carefree albeit selfish life for over two years now and I really like it. I live for myself and I’m responsible for no one. It’s actually kinda fun…

I swear. me and tascha, we are the worst pair in canine/human history.

But I’m not giving up. So bear with me, tasch. I’m learning as I go.

Now, before I am forced to change the name of this blog to “ivy gets a puppy”…

I lost another turtle. Shit. I got two turtles as a birthday gift (because I lost the ones I had before) and now, I lost one again! I hope it’s in the backyard, slowly wandering. I’m having the backyard mowed and weaned tomorrow. I hope we find my turtle.

I bought a new fan yesterday. The blade almost flew off the base to chop my head off. Ahh. Me and my near misses… it turns out that it’s missing a part. Duh. The one that secures the blade to the motor shaft.

Go figure.

Aaaaaaaaand….

My bathroom sink fell off. It just did. And it’s sitting on my toilet as I write this. I won’t post pictures of that coz… even though I hardly get embarrassed, this one is quite mortifying. I’ll leave that to your imagination.

And go wild.


NP: wrong way : sublime
"Don't run away if you wanna stay
Cuz I ain't here to make ya..."