Monday, March 1, 2010

butterflies


From my mother’s side of the family, there are three of us, girls who were born just months apart in the same year.  One of us got married last year.  And the other is getting married on Saturday.   i haven’t seen my relatives in a long time, but I already feel them breathing down my neck, telling me that I should get married. Soon.
I promised myself years ago that I will marry only for love.  I will never let anyone or anything pressure me into getting married. i grew up fearing marriage, the idea that I’ll be stuck/ caged in/ tied to someone or something for the rest of my life just plain terrifies me.  And we all know what happened when I finally succumbed to that idea.  I guess it’s just fitting that I do myself that favor and stick to my promise.   Ok. Ok. Ok. So maybe I am still terrified. but I think these days, although I am scared of making the biggest mistake of my life, there’s also that fear of having to spend my life alone.  Which is also scary.
But I guess right now, I have a lot of other things to take care of. Like fixing my schedule to fit everything. I need a break. A long, luxurious, break.

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