untitled

Slow down and enjoy life.
It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast
You also miss the sense of where you are going and why ~ eddie cantor


How long has it been? I always feel like I’m trying to catch up on life. But the past month, I think I was able to rush right along with it. It was both good and bad. In reference to the quote above, I was able to enjoy the scenery. But somewhere along the amazing sights, the laughter, the disappointments, the highs and the lows… I lost sight of where I was going. And most importantly, why.

The past couple of months was a whirlwind… I did so much without accomplishing anything which makes it even more frustrating. I am no nearer to my goals after trying to catch up with everything and everyone. I'm not even sure why I'm in a hurry. I don't know why am I trying desperately to have everything. To do everything. To be everything. NOW.

Maybe it’s the time line I’ve set for myself. I have big plans for when I turn 30 which is a mere 3 months away. I want to enjoy the last few months I have remaining with my friends and family. Before I start a new life somewhere else. See, I have to start somewhere else. But at the same time, I am trying to juggle work and the things I have to do in preparation for my big move.

I need a major change. A life altering move. A twist so big, today would be a distant, vague memory. I want out. I can say this now with all certainty. And I am determined to do whatever it takes within the boundaries of what my conscience perceives as moral.

I don’t want to run anymore. I think it’s time I go home. But home isn’t here and I have to go find it.

I feel so old here. I want to be new again.

Brand new.

"She decided against wearing her shades. It's time to look at the big blue sky without rose colored glasses. She looked ahead and couldn't look back. Because walking away would be impossible if she found him there, standing by the door, looking back at her." ~ untitled