Busted Racquet

Day 16 : A picture of someone who inspires you. 

I haven’t been to this blog in a while, I think I almost forgot I had one.  It took me a while to come up with a picture of someone who inspires me.  I guess for the most part I was just uninspired (cue in sarcastic laughter).  No, I guess I just couldn’t think of someone… like a hero or something.  I have been detached (like you wouldn’t believe) for the most part of… I can’t even remember when I wasn’t.  See? 

So, anyway, after a season of heart breaks, of losing in 3 of the 4 grand slam finals (it’s technically 2 since he just made it to the QF of the French Open, but since he lost to Rafa, I’m counting it as a final), I have decided that Djokovic fits the bill.

  

Tennis, as much as it is a game of strength and strategy, is also a game of guts.  It’s you, standing there, all alone.  Sometimes, you’re down 5-0 and yet you have to hold your head up and serve for a game that’s obviously lost.  Or worse, you’re at the other end, forced to return a blistering serve from an opponent who certainly has your number.  It’s just so easy to choke, to just give up and call it a day.  And yet you’re there, fighting alone at one side of the court.  

That last match vs Nadal at the US Open was brutal.  Truth be told, Djokovic was on top of his game.  Imagine what it feels like to know that you’re doing everything you have to do, giving everything you’ve got and yet you still lose.  But that’s what makes champions. They don’t give up.  They take the beating, fight for their life, and get up and say, it will be better tomorrow.

When everything that can go wrong actually does and you're way over your head in shit, it takes a lot of courage to get up and believe that it will be better tomorrow. 

I remember one match when I was 12 or 13.  The tournament was going really well, until I faced Magnolia.  See? I still remember her name.  She bageled me, that bitch.  (For the uninitiated, bagel in tennis means you didn’t win a set, your opponent won 6-0.)  I didn’t want to continue the match, it was the first time I ever l ever lost that bad.  For the first time, I was aware that I was alone during a match.  It was so scary and I just wanted to go home and cry, but you have to continue and rely on your guts to fight.  I lost that match and Magnolia eventually won the gold.  And I went on to win my first bronze in tennis. 

A picture of

Something you want to do before you die.

I am going to go full on cheesy and sappy on this one. Whenever I see the word "die" or "death" it just makes me go insanely sentimental. So... Before I die I want to fall in love, the kind that makes you leap off of buildings, the kind that makes you kick your leg back when you hug or kiss. And I'm going to take all that mush in the most cliche romantic city in the world, Paris.

The verdict is in.

I am going to move to a place near the office. I've thought about distance, time, traffic, convenience, and my current day to day activities, and what I really want and what really suits my life right now.  I just need to find a place that will allow me to have the puppy with me.  I am surprised that a lot of condos and apartments do not allow pets. Instead of moving back home, I think I need to live in a new place, a new city, a new neighborhood.

Much as I love a modest home with the picket fence and the small flower garden, I think it's not for me right now. At least not for now.  And much as las pinas is home, I think I've out-grown it a little bit.

Besides...

"I couldn't stay where everything reminded me of the life that was gone."  ~ Water for Elephants

Silver Linings

I think I knew it all along, that it was all up to me to change things... but I couldn't get a quick start, just couldn't make that leap. Barely three months ago, I was in such a rut that just days before Christmas, I wished for a new job, a new home and the world to end. I was stuck at a crossroads. Too many decisions to be made, and I just didn't know where to start or where to go that even a deal with the devil seemed like an option.

And I think that's the universe's cue to come in and lend a hand. I think it also helps that someone up there is looking out for me.

I wanted a new job...
but I didn't know what I wanted. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do except for the job I'm already doing now, and any other offer didn't seem to be good enough. So, I was offered a promotion. New responsibilities, new challenges and fresh possibilities. It's fast paced, critical, pushes you to the edge, just the way I like it.

I wanted a new home...
But I wasn't taking the time to look at houses. I had too many excuses to put this off. Then Tascha, my puppy, got evicted from our condo. I had to send her away to my family back home while I look for... (surprise!) a new home.

I wanted the world to end...
But instead, I am given the chance to see the world. Even after declining the initial offer, I was told all I had to do was get a visa and a plane ticket and the rest will be taken care of. It was literally an offer I couldn't refuse.

Now what is it again they say about avoiding your destiny? That you cant?

I believe this is my chance to do good again.

Ice age.

Five days before Christmas and all I can think of is how much I want :
1. A new job
2. A new house
3. And the end of the world to come on the 21st.

Satellite

Day 14 : A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

If i was asked this question long ago, the answer would be automatic. I wouldn't even blink or think. I knew the answer. It was simple but never easy. But the thing about people you could never imagine your life without-- is that they disappear. And what you thought wasn't ever possible becomes not just a reality, but it becomes your life.


Everyday there is still a part if me that wishes. But everyday, i am also reminded that i can live through my worst fear. And then i feel invincible.

Day 13

A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Things I love

Day 12 : A picture of something you love.

I'm going out on a limb here and I'm posting a picture of thingsss I love.

No matter how tough and detached i try to look, the truth is, i am such a girly-girl. I love bags, shinny things, shoes, flowers, chocolates and tennis. And the rain.

Oh, and cute tennis players.

And while we're telling secrets, I still believe that a pair of shoes can change a girl's life. Just look at that girl, Cinderella. She lived happily ever after.

something you hate

yeah. it took me a while to come up with this one because although i say that i hate something everyday, i almost always never mean it. the task for day 11 is to post a picture of something you hate.  i don't think i've ever hated something to the point as to make it official. you know, like really making a statement about your abhorrence over that one thing.  but that was until I experienced, first hand, some major bullying from local officials.

So now, here it is : I hate politics. and I hate bullies.

You know what the funny thing is? these police vehicles weren't even acquired during this Mayor's administration.  This was part of the previous Mayor's projects.

Credit @jimparedes for the pic.

saddest conversation ever

good talk.

but the saddest part is, you know he's right.

random stranger

Day 10 : a picture of the person you do the most F****d up things with.

day 9

Day 9 : A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

wow. I am on a roll. although, the only reason I am on a roll is because I have been on bed-rest for nearly 4 days now. but still, I am on a roll.

This next one is quite tricky. and may get a bit controversial, so I will just post this pic. because if you are the person who has gotten me through the most, you'll know. one look at that pic, and you'll know.  you probably already know anyway, even if you don't see this. but... whatevs.

geez. if i knew this list would get this personal.  i wouldn't have done it at all. oh well.

faith

FAITH : You give it to the people you love. But the people who really deserve it, are the ones who come through even when you don't love them enough.  - V Mars 

day 8 : a picture that makes you laugh

what can i say? i'm easy. :)

day 7

This 30 day thing is taking a lot longer than I thought. Ha. Anyway... moving on...

Day 7 : A picture of your most treasured item.

I almost posted a picture of my favorite flowers here. I thought I was supposed to post a picture of my most treasured possession... not that a bunch of hyacinths were the most important part of my life... the picture was supposed to take the place of the picture of all the people I love since i can't put all of them in a single picture. 

Anyway, when i looked at my file again, it said, most treasured item. item. this is the first thing that came into my mind. 

it may be a bit sentimental and childish, but this teddy bear was there every single time i needed a hug. got me through the worst times. and (in my mind) jumped up with me in my triumphs. i miss my bear. 

i had the strangest

dream. 

I dreamt that we were watching the sunrise. I casually mused that it has been such a long time since we last saw the sun rise together.  And as I said it, I had the sinking feeling that it was going to be the last.  

I hate waking up in tears. It kinda sets the mood for the entire day. 

sunflowers and berries

Day 6 : A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Okay. It took me days to figure out who I wanted to trade places with... I was thinking, maybe someone profound... like Oprah.  Then this morning I realized i'm only going to be this "other" person for a day. So might as well be fun. 

Just for a day, I want to be this girl who spends a quiet weekend away from the city with this really cute dude in the red socks.  I want to shop for sunflowers and berries after a quick run along the beach with this really sweet dude. 

spoon airplanes

Day 5 : A picture of your favorite memory. 

when i was around seven years old and recuperating from a long sickness, my mom begged me to eat and spoon fed me the most amazing adobo ever.  I was too old then to be spoon fed, much more, with an "airplane" spoon.  the taste of the adobo, the small table in my grandma's living room and how the light filtered through the windows and touched my thin feet are still very clear memories until this day. but my favorite part was when my mom pretended that the spoon was an airplane just to convince me to eat.  

as long as you're here with me now.

Day 4 : A picture of your favorite night.

This one is a pickle. There's just sooo many favorite nights. But nothing sums up my current mood than this :

As long as it matters.
As long as you're here with me now.
Forget that our time is almost up,
I'll be all right.

Some of your favorite things, they're over before they even start.

Day 3

Post a picture of the cast of your favorite TV show